Lessons from Life: Slow Down

I had about fifty ideas jotted down for this week’s blog post. I actually had four of those ideas half-written. Last night, I completed one full post for publication. This morning I woke up and knew I needed to write about a different topic altogether!

To quote Toad from a section of a Frog and Toad book that two of my speech students performed this year, “I feel down in the dumps.”

 

I get like this sometimes. About once a month, I think. The thing is: it took me literally fifteen years to figure out that there is a physiological reason I feel like this!

During these times, everything seems wrong. I feel like a failure in every area. Every ‘problem’ that I am facing is magnified one thousand times. I am tempted many times during the day to grab a block of chocolate, climb back into bed, pull the covers over my head, and stay there all day...just like Toad. Some days ,I have done just that! Unfortunately for me, it usually isn’t just one day that I feel like this. It usually lasts a few days; although, last month it lasted for nine days! Nine days where every day felt like I was running a marathon through a deep mud pit.

My diligent friends who are more in-tune with their bodies than I am, would probably have lots of ideas to help me through these times. I have tried different things in the past. Perhaps it is lazy and foolish of me to keep soldiering on when there probably could be some help for this problem. But sometimes the demands of life take away any motivation and energy to deal with a problem that just seems to be ‘part of being a woman’. When I feel like this, I couldn’t be bothered. When I am over this, I seem to forget just how hard it was.

I remember the advice I got from a respected older mother a few years ago when I described one of my hard days to her. She said something like: “It sounds as though you just need to take a breath, slow down and be kind to yourself today.” Now that I’m more aware of the fact that it’s my hormones wreaking havoc on days like this, I am able to follow that wise advice. In these instances, though, life goes on: my children still need to be educated; the dirty dishes still pile high on the sink; the dirty washing still overflows from the basket; there are still hungry mouths to feed; there are still children’s needs to be met; there are still bills to be paid, appointments to get to, little emergencies to tend to…etc.

 

‘Slowing down’ and ‘being kind to myself’ are two things I am learning to do. When hard days creep up on me when I least expect them, it’s easy to get frustrated with myself. I have gotten very angry with myself in the past for not being able to keep up with the demands of life. I would never treat another person with the disrespect that I have treated myself during these challenging days.

I know I will probably have lot of well-meaning friends who want to give me tips and advice to deal with these times, and I appreciate that. But I am not writing this for advice or sympathy; I am just writing it in my quest to be real. It’s not a topic I like to burden people with in my conversations, but it is a real battle I face each month.

But as I mentioned earlier, I am getting better! Even when the hard times last longer than I expect, I have learnt to slow down, eat plenty of good food, rest when I can, and take the time to enjoy the simple pleasures of life: hugging my children, having a laugh with them, having a coffee in the morning sunshine.

 

 

The life of a mother is like a constant battle. At times, it seems there is no rest and no place to hide. But, we need to be patient with ourselves, give ourselves a little kindness and grace sometimes and just….slow down.

I am reminded about a poem I learnt when I was a teenager.  I have never forgotten the  last verse:

“Quit! Give up! You’re Beaten!”
They still shout in my face,
But another voice within me says,
“Get up and win the race!”

I might take some time in the pit area today; but I will be up to face my race very soon!

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